Things I'd tell my younger self

Always wanted to be a Barbie girl
Hiiii! So I've seen this kind of post knocking around for some time now, and thought I'd do it myself. The other night, I couldn't sleep and ended up scrolling through all of my old Facebook albums dating back to when I was about 14-15. Seeing some of the people who aren't in my life anymore, some of the situations I could have probably stayed out of, they are what have inspired this post. I'm writing these things to 15-22 year old me, so this is going through the second half of secondary school all the way through uni.

So...
  1. DUMP HIM - he's only going to keep hurting you. I was on-and-off with the same guy for about 4-5 years, yes there were other guys in between but I always ended up being manipulated back into the same old situation. For God's sake Alice, listen to the girls and leave him - it doesn't get better, he doesn't change, he keeps cheating on you, so just leave.
  2. You're not fat - looking back at these photos when I was in school, I remember thinking how fat I was at the time, constantly on yo-yo diets and battling eating disorders, but Al trust me, you're not fat. Just wait until you're 23 and you do actually need to lose weight. But then I know how you're thinking, that's what having body dysmorphia & EDs do to a gal.
  3. Don't dither about going to Kingsley - trust me, that school will literally save your life. The bullies will still reach you, but school will actually look after you. 
  4. You don't always have to have the last word - I'm sure my mum and dad will both laugh when they read this one! Although it can be satisfying, sometimes it's better to just walk away rather than carrying on the argument until you feel like you've won; just shut up and leave it.
    This was December 2009, I had just turned 14 and so unhappy,
     but Zac can always put a smile on my face ;)
  5. You don't always have to be little miss stubborn - kind of similar to the one before, I know my parents and friends will laugh at this; I was even named 'Little Miss Stubborn' in our year 11 yearbook page of Mr. Men & Little Miss characters! But again, you don't have to pick a fight just because someone doesn't agree with you! Try biting your tongue and giving in sometimes.
  6. Do psychology instead of English Language at uni - you wanted to do psychology to begin with but that conference scared you off: ignore that, go and do what you're passionate about. English is good, but your favourite parts of the course are the psycho-linguistic parts, so just do it.
  7. Take more pictures - you used to upload a whole album of photos after a sleepover or an event, but now you get your insta shot and that's it, keep taking photos!
  8. You deserve better than the guys you keep pining after - it really is true that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince Charming, but don't let it break you. You're not the problem, it's them; they're not good enough for you if they're going to treat you the way they do.
  9. FaceTime the girls more at uni, you need them - your 'friends' at uni won't be your forever friends, these are the gals you've already got. Ring them, FaceTime them when you need them because trust me, you will.
  10. Live with your course friends at uni - Oh God, DO NOT LIVE WITH THOSE PEOPLE!! Don't sign for your house 2 months after living with them, trust me it won't go well and it will completely ruin your second and third year of uni; live with your course friends!
  11. Your first impressions of people are usually right: if something's off there's a reason why - there may be a couple of exceptions, but generally when you've had a bad feeling about someone, it's right. I wouldn't say you're Mystic Meg, but your first impressions are normally right. 
  12. Go and see papa more - You'll regret not going to the home more after he's gone, I know it's heartbreaking but just go and see him.
  13. Don't waste your time doing a PGCE just because you don't know what else to do - everyone will ask you when you say you're doing English Language (refer to number 5), "oh so do you want to be a teacher?" NO, NO YOU DO NOT. Don't just so it because you're panicking, take the time, something will come up.
  14. It's going to be okay - you won't have recovered but you'll be in recovery - some periods are going to be shit, like proper shit, but you'll get through it. It's going to be hard, even now I haven't fully recovered, but I'm so much better than where you are now reading this. Stick with your counsellor, stick with your tablets, and use your support network. There's a light at the end of the tunnel: you'll use your experience to write a blog and potentially help people reading it, and you'll get a job helping other people with their wellbeing, so even though it's shit, you'll use it for good. Keep going!
Admittedly, it kind of bothers me that I've only done 14, not 15, but I think that kind of encompasses everything. Tag me on Twitter if you do a similar post, I'd love to see what you'd say to yourself!

xo//

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