"Sometimes in life, you aren't enough for someone"

Hello! Long time no see - apologies about that. I've been pretty busy actually, I've been on holiday, moved house and got a new job, so my little blog has kind of suffered because of it, but I'm still here!

Now call me a basic white girl, a basic bitch, or however you describe people who are obsessed with crappy reality TV, Starbucks and shops at In The Style, but this post is actually inspired by the recent break up between Zara and Adam from Love Island (please keep reading, this isn't a post about Love Island!).

Some of you may have read Zara's official statement, I'm sure a lot of you couldn't care less, but it was something in this statement that has given me an idea for this post. She wrote about the breakup, 'sometimes in life, you aren't enough for someone', and reading this broke my heart.
I'm sure a lot of people reading this, will know exactly how this feels: whether it's a friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, a family member, sometimes the breakdown of these relationships can make you feel like it's all your fault. These relationships and these people are toxic. No person should make you feel that you're not enough, but I'm being a hypocrite saying this, because I've felt like this more than once. To be honest, I've been made to feel like I'm not enough by all three types of relationship I've mentioned.

As with all of my posts, I can only write from personal experience, so you may not agree with some of my opinions, but it's the only way I can write it. My experience of not being enough can be expanded to giving people chance after chance, no matter what they do. For example, an ex of mine cheated on me multiple times, yet I forgave him every time thinking it would be different, thinking he would change for me, he didn't. A friend constantly broke my trust, always made me feel that if we fell out it was all my fault when that wasn't necessarily the case, yet I got over it every time, thinking that would be the last time, it wasn't. My brother has walked out of my life a couple of times after me allowing him to come back in and then left again, I hoped that he would want to be around to see his little sister, but he didn't, which lead me to think I wasn't enough.

What these situations have made me realise is that it's not you that's not enough, it's their problem. As heartbreaking as it can be to lose a friend, break up with someone, have a family member walk out on you, it's not because you're not enough. You can try and try to make things right, to make them want you, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. If they have the ability to make you feel like you're not enough and they aren't bothered by that, they don't try and rectify it, are they really the kind of people you want in your life anyway? Being told or made to feel that you're not enough can really fuck you up, to put it blatantly. It can affect your other and future relationships with other people - I'd get into a mentality that I'll never be enough for anyone, nobody will ever want me, but that's wrong. If I ignore the people that have made me feel that way and look at the other people in my life, I am enough. I have other friends who are clearly better friends because they've never made me feel that I'm not enough; I have other family members who want me; I have a boyfriend (admittedly years later after being made to feel that I'm not enough by several boys) who loves me and makes me feel that I'm enough.

So please don't think that nobody cares. If that's how you feel, maybe look at your circle and work out who it is who makes you feel like you're not enough: try and speak to them about it, or try and distance yourself if you feel like talking won't change anything. Try and look outside your circle - parents say don't talk to strangers, but I speak to the most bad-ass gals on Twitter who I've never met irl (hi friends!), who really pick me up when I'm feeling down. If you were a sports coach, you wouldn't have people on your team who didn't believe in you as a coach or as a person, who are just shitty people, so relate that to your life. Pick people for your team who want you to win, who make you feel that you are enough.
Feel free to leave me a comment or hit me up across social media if you want someone to speak to!

xo//

Comments

  1. I loveeeee this. I saw that in Zara's message as well and I felt so bad for her too but she's right, sometimes you might never be enough, and you're right in saying that this is not your problem. It's that person's problem, whoever they are. I often feel like i'm not good enough in pretty much every aspect of my life, but I've started to realise that, and I've started to say to myself that if I'm not wanted here, then it's not the right place for me to be.

    Such a great post x

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