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Showing posts from 2019

Bringing back the fire in her eyes

Oh hey thereeee, don't know if you remember me?! It's been nearly 4 months since I wrote a post: life's been a bit crazy, so I hope you're ready for a big one! This is my end of year/end of decade (say what?!?!) post, where I want to just round everything up and leave a lot of things in this year, and not have it follow me into the next.

So this year, there have been some pretty big changes to life: I moved house in January, started a job which I'm loving, went on a couple of holidays, and then shit hit the fan big time - I made the decision to leave my boyfriend of 3 and a half years.

I'm not going to go into all the details even though I'd love to spill the tea so those who haven't asked could hear my side, but the majority has been put to bed, and I don't want this to be a bashing post. However, it was fucking awful. I'd been unhappy for a while, probably for about 5 months before I actually cut the cord because I kept telling myself I was be…

Kathy Burke, All Woman

Hello! Any Brits reading this may have seen the Channel 4 programme, Kathy Burke, All Woman over the last few weeks. For those of you that haven't, Burke has been around British TV for years as an actress, comedian, writer, producer and director and is well known for her no-nonsense take on the world. This series follows her looking into the social expectations of a woman in today's society.

Episode 1: Beauty
In episode 1, Burke looks into the sometimes, unattainable beauty standards us women feel we have to live up to. We're living in an Instagram-fuelled world where we have to look perfect every day because that's how we show ourselves online but how are we meant to look like our filtered selfies away from Snapchat? Burke explains it very simply as "it's people fancying each other that makes the world go round" but cannot understand where the pressure to be perfect has come from, going on to say "babies don't come out looking like Beyonce" …

Anxiety & Me: having the BBC pay for therapy is nice, but is it real?

Oh hey, me again.

I watched the BBC programme last month called Anxiety and Me featuring Nadiya Hussain and I thought I would write a blog post about it, because I know my opinion is so important and people live based on what I say (I'm joking, just in case you can't sense the sarcasm there)! Just for anyone who is new here (hi!), I have been diagnosed with Anxiety since 2015 but I think I've actually had it for a lot longer than four years.

Overall, I thought it was great. I thought it gave a really good understanding of how Anxiety can feel for someone, and even my boyfriend of nearly 4 years said he learned more about the illness and how it can make me feel. So clearly, it was very informative and clear. I loved how raw and real it was: I started crying after the first five minutes because it hit me so hard. (Disclaimer: I'm going to openly talk about things that happen in the programme so if you wanted to watch it first go and do that now!)

At the start when Nadiya…

Introvert? Ambivert? HSP?

Hey hey,

So I saw this tweet floating around Twitter (hi, follow me) recently and I could not agree with it more. I did a personality test the other week and it said I was 83% introverted which didn't surprise me. Call it 'only child syndrome' but I absolutely love my own company - no, not because I think I'm fabulous, I just get exhausted when I have too much social interaction. It's strange though, because I've had people say to me 'oh but you're so confident', 'you're so loud', 'you like spending time with people'; it's true, I do enjoy spending time with others and doing fun things, but it gets to a point where I've just had enough and want to leave. I've read a few articles about being an 'extroverted-introvert', or a 'social-introvert', or even an 'ambivert' so clearly it's not just me. Reading around the subject, I've also read things about being a 'Highly Sensitive Person'…

Rose-tinted glasses

Oh hey there, remember me? To be honest I'm not sure if I can even remember how to write blogs anymore so no problem if you've forgotten about me! So anyway, I wrote this tweet the other day (follow me if you want!) - and a couple of people responded and encouraged me to write a post about it! (Hi C & B! 😂)

I think about this kind of stuff all the time, and it's kind of linked to my post that I wrote about the question of 'what if'. I don't even know how it happens sometimes, I can hear a song, see an advert, smell a familiar smell and I'm immediately taken back to a time with someone even if I haven't thought about them, let alone spoken to them for months or years. But it happens, I don't even know what triggered it the other night but I just started thinking about memories with people who aren't in my life anymore and it got me thinking: thinking about the last conversation I had with people, not knowing that that was going to be the las…

Things I'd tell my younger self

Hiiii! So I've seen this kind of post knocking around for some time now, and thought I'd do it myself. The other night, I couldn't sleep and ended up scrolling through all of my old Facebook albums dating back to when I was about 14-15. Seeing some of the people who aren't in my life anymore, some of the situations I could have probably stayed out of, they are what have inspired this post. I'm writing these things to 15-22 year old me, so this is going through the second half of secondary school all the way through uni.

So...
DUMP HIM - he's only going to keep hurting you. I was on-and-off with the same guy for about 4-5 years, yes there were other guys in between but I always ended up being manipulated back into the same old situation. For God's sake Alice, listen to the girls and leave him - it doesn't get better, he doesn't change, he keeps cheating on you, so just leave.You're not fat - looking back at these photos when I was in school, I re…

Ignorance isn't bliss for those on the other end of it

So good news, I have a new job! I am now a Workplace Wellbeing Coordinator - ooo fancy. I'm basically working with my place of work to improve the mental and physical wellbeing of the workforce. As a result of this, I have been to quite a few meetings in my first week and have had the pleasure (?) of hearing some people's thoughts on mental health conditions, and what these have made me realise is that we still have a massive way to go.
Remember when one of the newspapers said a different food gave you cancer each week, and we'd stop eating it, realise there wasn't really a lot of evidence and then went back to normal? Well I think the same thing is happening with mental health illnesses. It seems at the minute that every other week there's a new cause of mental illness, and as soon as someone has seen that one headline, there's no changing their mind. And these people who are not open to other opinions and reasons can be the start of a stigma; which is scary.

"Sometimes in life, you aren't enough for someone"

Hello! Long time no see - apologies about that. I've been pretty busy actually, I've been on holiday, moved house and got a new job, so my little blog has kind of suffered because of it, but I'm still here!

Now call me a basic white girl, a basic bitch, or however you describe people who are obsessed with crappy reality TV, Starbucks and shops at In The Style, but this post is actually inspired by the recent break up between Zara and Adam from Love Island (please keep reading, this isn't a post about Love Island!).

Some of you may have read Zara's official statement, I'm sure a lot of you couldn't care less, but it was something in this statement that has given me an idea for this post. She wrote about the breakup, 'sometimes in life, you aren't enough for someone', and reading this broke my heart.
I'm sure a lot of people reading this, will know exactly how this feels: whether it's a friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, a family memb…

What if?

What if is such a weird concept isn't it? If you think about it too long it can really mess with your head, it's like trying to imagine the inside of a black hole, it makes me feel strange.

You can look at the question what if in so many ways -
what if... my mum and dad never met, I went to a different school, I was born a year later/earlier, I was the opposite sex, I'd never met that person, we never broke up, I had a different job...the list of what ifs is infinite, and there's no way of ever knowing.

It makes me think about how different my life could be if little things had happened differently (not that I wish it had), but for example, if I hadn't been bullied and kicked to rock bottom, maybe I would have never had mental health issues, I wouldn't have moved schools and have the friends I do now, I could have ended up not going to uni at all and never meeting the people I know now, like Luke, and that thought really makes me dizzy.

What if also plays a role…