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Showing posts from 2015

Living with anxiety & depression

As many of you know, last year I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression (A&D). However, a lot has happened since then; some good, some not so good. I guess this post is partially an update, and partially for anybody interested in the kind of life and struggles I face on a day-to-day basis. In my first blog post about my illnesses, I spoke about having Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), mostly to combat the depression, but occasionally focusing on the anxiety and panic attacks. I'm not going to lie, it was useless . I had six sessions in a tired looking, cold building with a woman who looked at me with so much pity as if my pet had just died. Also, I am totally aware that I do not think rationally, but she just kept trying to make me realise this, but never actually helping me think rationally. She would get me to fill in a form every week which was basically just to check I didn't want to try and kill myself that week; it was a waste of time. The only useful thing

Every life matters - #PrayForPeace

I don't really know where to start with this, but in light of the horrific tragedies that have happened in the past few days, I need to address it.  Obviously everybody is fully aware of the absolutely heartbreaking terror attacks that happened in Paris on Friday, but why is not everybody aware of all of the other events that happened on that day too? The entirety of my Facebook homepage last night was full of people changing their profile picture to the French flag colours and sharing the #PrayForParis image (myself included), but why is it only the Parisians that we seem to care about? On the same day, there was an earthquake which triggered a tsunami in Japan and an earthquake in Baja California, Mexico; a day before there was another terrorist attack by ISIS in Beirut killing 43 and wounding 239 (for now), a terrorist attack in Baghdad by ISIL killing at least 26 and injuring 46; and in April there was a terrorist attack in Kenya killing 147 people. Why has the world


I remember this time last year as if it was yesterday and it's crazy to think that I'm going into my second year of university. I know how terrified I was last year though because I hate change, and I had just started having panic attacks and my anxiety had got worse, but being anxious and apprehensive about leaving your school and family life which you have known for years to go to a massive city with thousands of people is completely normal! As with all of my blog posts, this is completely from my own experience of being a fresher, and everybody's experience will be completely different depending on the type of person you are and the university that you are at, but here's some things I learnt during my first year at Cardiff: Everybody is terrified. Teachers, parents, friends, they all tell you to not be scared because "everybody is in the same boat", and yes, that's true, but it doesn't prevent the awkward greetings with your housemates. I was

Happily Never After

Why aren't movie characters real? Okay, so I accept and acknowledge that Jack Dawson, Noah Calhoun, Alex Stewart and any character that Channing Tatum has played do not exist and are only fictional, but why? It's characters like Superman, Harry Potter and The Doctor that cannot ever be possible, but why is being a genuine, lovely, caring person who loves every bone of someone's being, and just wants to love them and wants them to be happy, so impossible to find or be? Surely these characters were based on real people, and if that's what girls and guys wanted then, why don't people want that now? The culture that we live in now makes these characters impossible to even imagine. This culture only praises the ' LADS ' who sleep with and fuck over girls by the dozen, with their idols being Gaz and Scotty T, which in return is making girls idolise the Geordie Shore girls and other similar types of people, i.e. unhealthily skinny, fake, slutty idiots.

50 Shades of Grey Review

So I went to see the 50 Shades of Grey film on Wednesday after reading the first book and having my mum summarise the other two for me, and I have to be honest, I loved it. This blog will probably end up being a bit of a rant because some people's views on it have really infuriated me. Obviously, everybody is entitled to their own opinion, but I believe that the people who have no idea about the subject and just go along with the opinion of everyone else, are not entitled to their opinion to be honest. Coming from a person who has read the book and seen the film, 50SoG is NOT  about rape and/or domestic abuse, it is just the story of an unlikely pair coming together to have sex in the beginning, but ultimately ( spoiler alert)  fall in love, get married and have two children. Just because Mr Grey uses handcuffs, ropes and cable ties to tie Ana to the bed, it does not mean that she is there against her will. For those who have no idea, Christian first introduces The Playroo

New Year: Making Things Happen

2014:  Well it's definitely had its highs and lows: I finished school with 3 A Levels at grade A, got into my first choice university of Cardiff, had the best summer of my life, had the best holiday in Magaluf (so classy), met the best guy in the world and started university. With all these highlights, obviously there has to be lowlights: left the safety and comfort of my school, lost the best guy in the world, drifted from people I thought I'd always be close to, and I have recently been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. 2015 : I do not intend to use the cliché 'new year new me' , but I want to try and make achievable resolutions which probably sound very philosophical but make a positive difference in my life. I want to try and do more things that I want to do, whether it will get me anywhere or not; this blog for example. To be completely honest with myself, they are made with good intentions but I honestly don't know how long they will stay at the forefro